[Nash and Tess first meet when Tess -- who is broke -- sees him in Central
Park and tries to seduce him into buying her lunch]
Nash: You want me to buy you lunch?
Tess: That's right.
Nash: Why would I do that?
Tess: Because I'm cute, and you're apparently single. And I
really like your car.
Nash: Uh-huh. That's not much of a reason to feed you.
Tess: You're turning me down?
Nash: Flat.
Nash: Maybe next time, you should pick on someone a little more in
your own league.
Tess: What's that supposed to mean?
Nash: You're just a little too bridge and tunnel.
Tess: Who the hell do you think you are? What, you show up here
in your $100,000 car and your, what, $2,000 jacket? And you think you
can talk to me that way?
Nash: Hmm, you do need lunch. You're hysterical.
Tess: No, I'm not hysterical, honey, I'm pissed.
Nash: It's your blood sugar. You know, there is an all-you-can-eat
over on 74th and Broadway. On your way over there, you could mug some
little kid for his lunch money. And while you're at it, steal his scooter,
since you obviously need a ride.
[Nash realizes that Tess has stolen his car by pretending to be his
wife]
Nash: Well, we'll just see who wears the pants in this family.
Tess: Are you actually accusing me of stealing your wallet?
Nash: I know it's a big stretch since you stole my car.
Tess: I borrowed it. Anyways, I gave it back.
Nash: I took it back.
Tess: So what's the big deal?
Nash: The big deal? The big deal is you're a klepto.
[Tess puts Nash's wallet down her blouse and urges Nash to come and get
it]
Nash: (to Tess) I got a feeling this is going to be the
most memorable day of your life.
[Tess puts on a bit of a strip show out on the diving board of the pool
where a big party is going on]
Nash: Bit of an exhibitionist, aren't you?
Tess: What can I say? When you got it, flaunt it.
Nash: (looking her over) Oh, you've got it.
Tess: What do I got?
Nash: This. (he pushes her into the pool)
Tess: I hate you!
Nash: Oh, yeah? You're going to hate me even more in a minute.
(gesturing toward her panties, which came off when she hit the pool
water, and are floating nearby)
[Nash grabs Tess' panties out of the water before she can reach
them]
Tess: Give them to me.
Nash: You know, you stole my car, you stole my wallet. I tell
you what, how about I keep these and we call it even?
Tess: This is not even funny. Throw them to me.
Nash: Why don't you come out and get them?
Tess: Will you just give me my --
Nash: Your, your what? What would you call these things, anyway,
underpants?
Tess: Panties.
Nash: Panties. Right. And why would any red-blooded American
male -- that's me -- give back these --?
Tess: Because they're mine.
Nash: Ah. You know, you think a lot of things are yours -- cars,
wallets --
Nash: Somebody's got to teach you a lesson. It's wrong to steal.
Tess: And you're going to punish me?
Nash: Nah. I'd have to care to do that.
Tess: Just a 411 -- I'm not yours, not even a little.
Nash: Oh, I know. And that is just about the one good thing
about this day.
Nash: (to Tess) You are turning into one of the worst
pains in the ass in the history of my world.
[Nash speaks to Tess while she's asleep]
Nash: I really needed Bruce's help today. You have no idea what
I gave up to come and rescue you. You have no idea. Do you?
Nah, you wouldn't even if you were conscious. You just don't
care. You're hot. Definitely interesting. But you're a
pain in the ass. You're a spoiled brat. I didn't sign on for
this. I didn't. You're not my problem.
[When a confused Tess wakes up in Nash's bed, she accuses him of drugging
her to sleep with her]
Nash: You think I need to drug a girl to have sex with her?
Tess: I don't know. Do you?
Nash: Well, the correct answer would be no, but I think you already
know that.
Nash: You were roofied, yes, but not by me. I saw someone putting
something into your drink, and because I'm not twisted, I brought you back
here so you could sleep it off.
Tess: So who drugged me, then?
Nash: The host of that fantastic party didn't want to leave.
He's a real nice guy, by the way.
Nash: You just don't care about anyone but yourself, do you? You
see something you want, you just grab it -- wallets, cars.
Tess: What can I tell you? I'm a magnet for the things that
I need.
Nash: Well, I just hope you don't think you're a magnet for
crashing.
Nash: I guess I'm just willing to sacrifice for now till I get to
where I want to go.
Tess: Which is?
Nash: Nowhere I'd want to share with you.
Tess: I spent the night here. You have seen me naked.
Nash: Your clothes were wet. I took them off. I put you
in a robe.
Tess: And you didn't peek?
Nash: It was dark.
Tess: Oh, so you must be one of those chivalrous guys, huh?
Nash: Yeah, whatever.
Tess: So, what are you looking for?
Nash: Success.
Tess: Money?
Nash: Success. You wouldn't know what I'm talking about.
Nash: You don't have any money. And if you did, I wouldn't take
it.
Tess: What makes you think I don't have any money?
Nash: Because you're a thief, and a bad one.
Tess: I'm not a thief by trade. It's more of a sport. And
I will pay you back.
Nash: Hey, why don't you just pull it out of your offshore account,
huh?
Tess: I will pay you back.
Nash: You want to pay me back, never steal my car or lift my wallet
again.
Tess: I was just talking to myself.
Nash: People have been institutionalized for less than that.
Tess: Who am I, huh?
Nash: That was the question, yeah.
Tess: Why don't you tell me who you want me to be.
Nash: Ha!
Nash: I mean, you. I mean, you obviously come from money -- anybody
can see that -- but you're broke in New York City, you're stealing wallets,
cars --
Tess: Borrowing --
Nash: Whatever.
Tess: If I don’t get something to eat soon, I am going to pass
out right here on the mean streets of New York, so feed me or get out of
my face.
Nash: Are those my only options? Because I'm just more compassionate
than that. You know, I'm not the kind of guy who can abandon someone
in the street when I know that they can't take care of themselves.
[Nash asks Tess what her story is and she remains quiet]
Nash: Wow. For someone who talks constantly, you sure shut up
quick.
Nash: (to Tess) Do you have anything to offer besides
those blue eyes and this body that just won't quit?
[Nash brings Tess lunch]
Tess: You know, what's up with you? One second you're a jerk,
and the next second you're bringing me pork products?
Nash: I guess I'm just complicated and unpredictable.
Nash: Welcome to New York City, where girls like you are a dime a
dozen.
Tess: Really?
Nash: Oh, yeah.
Tess: And I bet you've had all of them.
Nash: I don't want them all.
Nash: (to Tess) You know, it's a funny thing about New
York taxis -- they like to get paid when they drop you off.
[Nash's apartment is invaded by Tess and her hard-partying
friends]
Nash: So, who are these people? What are they doing here?
Tess: Well, I met Jake and Holly at this really cute little wine bar
down in the meatpacking district, and some of their friends showed up, and,
well, the party just kind of took off from there.
Nash: And you couldn't have just stayed at the cute little wine bar?
[Tess tells Nash that she and Jessica are "twins"]
Nash: You're kidding me. There's another one of you out there?
[Nash and Tess are kissing]
Tess: What am I doing? I don't even like you.
Nash: Yeah, I don't like you, either.
[Tess turns Nash down]
Nash: You know, we got names for girls like you.
Tess: Really? Really?
Nash: Yeah.
Tess: Choosy?
Nash: No.
Nash: So tell me what it is you think that we've got.
Tess: Sort of an un-friendship, an alternative friendship, if you
will.
Nash: Well, I guess that makes sense since this all started with you
stealing my car.
Tess: See, you're broke.
Nash: I'd like to think of it as financially challenged.
[Nash shows Tess the night sky from his window]
Nash: Look right up there.
Tess: (looking up) I don't see anything.
Nash: Yeah, know, you can't see it. It's too bright with the
streetlights.
Tess: You -- you can't see what?
Nash: The galaxy Andromeda. They say she's the daughter of
Cassiopeia.
Tess: There?
Nash: Yeah. Right up there. I mean, just because you can't
see it doesn't mean it's not there.
Tess: So every night before you go to bed, you sit by your window
and look up at a bunch of stars that you can't see?
Nash: Yeah.
Tess: Yeah, what's the point?
Nash: I don't know. I think it's about a lot of things -- faith,
knowing that she's there even though you can't see her because the streetlight's
too bright. But when I look up there, I just -- I imagine I'm in another
place, a place where the sky is so clear that I could just reach up and touch
her. When I imagine myself in that place, I can smell the air, I can
-- I can hear the quiet. I just -- I forget that I'm here. I'm
there.
Tess: Where?
Nash: Another me. Another time.