[Nash wants Tess to sleep on the floor while he takes the bed]
Tess: How chivalrous of you.  That's great.
Nash: Oh, haven't you heard?  Chivalry's dead.  Oh, and I got to apologize in advance.  I'm told that I snore.


Nash: Hey, I mean, you know, I've only fed you, I've housed a complete stranger for two days.  Why would I expect you to give me anything other than that bad-ass attitude and a whole lot of sexual frustration?
Tess: Ooh, I sexually frustrate you?
Nash: Oh, no.  I always get together with a broad and end up sleeping on the floor.


Nash: (to Tess)  You know, I found out today that I am one step closer to achieving my dream, and the first thing I could think of was coming back here to shower you with cash.


Nash: You know what, Tess?  You're a lot of work, and I got a lot to do.


Nash: Me -- I'm a pretty level-headed guy, you know?  Eye on the prize and all that, but for some reason, when I'm around you, I just can't focus on what it is that I'm supposed to be doing.
Tess: Which is?
Nash: Making money.


Nash: (to Tess)  I worry about you, okay?  I think about you.  I think about what you want.  I think about where you're going.  I think about -- most of all, I think about who is this girl who sets me so off balance that half the time I feel like I could just fall flat on my face.


Tess: It's sweet of you to worry about me.
Nash: Yeah, well, someone's got to.


Nash: (to Tess)  I'm apologizing for assuming that you needed to be rescued when you so obviously don't.  I have never met someone with such self-confidence that they can walk into the streets of New York City without a dollar in their pocket and know that for a fact they could make something happen without breaking a sweat.  As much as I hate to admit it, I envy you.


Nash: I've had you in the sack.  It didn't do it for me.
Tess: Huh.  Well, that's only because you ended up on the floor.
Nash: Ah, but I respected myself in the morning.


[Nash tracks down Tess at a fancy restaurant]
Nash: You know, a week ago I couldn't have afforded a coffee in this place, but I seem to have run into a little bit of luck lately.  Would you have lunch with me?  We could go Dutch.
Tess: You know what?  I think I'm going to let you get this one.
Nash: I thought you might.


Tess: You know, I bet you wish you'd never met me.  Your life would've been so much easier.
Nash: And why do you think I want "easier"?


Tess: You have all the answers, don't you?
Nash: All the ones that count.


Nash: If I could see the water at Battery Park, if I could watch the sun set behind the Statue of Liberty every day, I would die a happy man.  I know that money won't make me happy, but I want to be secure.  I want to work hard. I want to earn what I get so that I can appreciate the finer things that I get.
Tess: Like lunch with a beautiful woman.
Nash: For starters.
Tess: So go on.
Nash: I love the way the world brightens around you when you smile.  Until I met you, my -- my apartment was a place to be endured until I saw you sleeping in my bed.  Now I can't wait to go back because I know that you will be there.
Tess: (impressed)  Wow.
Nash: Two weeks ago, I had a plan, and I was putting it into action.  But now I daydream.  I daydream about you. I daydream about you in that pool in the Hamptons, half of me wanting to throttle you for going through my wallet, and the other half wanting to jump in there and finish what we started last night.
Tess: (in wonderment)  And I was just looking for somebody to party with.
Nash: You know, if you would trade on your brains and your personality half as much as you rely on that smoking body of yours, there'd be no stopping you.  You scare the hell out of me, Tess, because I could change my plans for you.  And I've never done that for anyone.
[Nash suddenly gets out of his chair]
Tess: Where are you going?
Nash: I cannot make a speech like that and not make an exit.  (turns and leaves the restaurant)


[Tess and Nash discuss his plan to start a winery]
Nash: You think it's that easy?
Tess: I don't know.  You grow some grapes, get somebody to stomp on them, pour in some alcohol, put it all in a bottle.  What, am I wrong?
Nash: Oh, you are amazingly, beautifully, colossally wrong.


Nash: Oh, come on, you got to dream.  What's the one thing that you'd die for, the one place you're always trying to get to?
Tess: Oh, what, the Emerald city?  Heaven?
Nash: If you don't dream, what's the point?


Tess: I'm going to go out and see Holly.  Remember, the girl from the party the other night?
Nash: Oh, the home invasion?  Yeah.


[Nash finds Tess at a restaurant and wants her to come home with him]
Tess: You're still here.
Nash: Uh-huh.  What are you drinking?  Oh, look, here's a nice little cab.  It's undernourished and -- ooh -- overpriced, but, hey, it is New York City.


Tess: I mean, you sure kissed me like you liked it.
Nash: I never said I didn't like the kissing.


Nash: I'm an investor -- you know.  You're just a high-risk commodity, Tess.
Tess: Wow.  You struck me as the kind of guy that likes to take chances.  I guess I was wrong about that.
Nash: Some chances just don't pay off.


Nash: You know, every time you leave my apartment, I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again, and then when I do, you bring a three-ring circus with you.  Okay, you're stubborn, you're secretive, and you're throwing me off my game, and I swore that would never happen.
Tess: If you're looking for a safe bet, I'm not it.  Is that what you want?
Nash: No, it isn't.


Nash: (after kissing Tess)  What's wrong?
Tess: Nothing.  Nothing, I just got to take a rain check on tonight.  I'm sorry.
Nash: A rain check?  A kiss like that is clear skies and a hot rain check not.


Tess: So it's all about the finances?
Nash: Well, it's always about the bottom line, baby.


[Tess explains why she would be a bad roommate]
Tess: I'm up till all hours of the night, and I drink out of the carton.
Nash: Drink out of the carton?
Tess: Mm-hmm.
Nash: Well, hey, doesn't everybody?


Nash: I hope you love the chicken.  It's my specialty.  Chicken a la Nash Brennan -- that's me.
Tess: Well, I tried to make a chicken a la Tess one time, and I almost gave myself salmonella.


Nash: You know, I just realized you've never actually told me your last name.
Tess: Don't have one.
Nash: Oh, everyone's got one.
Tess: Well, tell that to Cher and Madonna.
Nash: All right, one-name Tess, this round goes to you, but there are going to be lots of rounds, I'm telling you.


[Nash and Tess try sleeping in the same bed, but Nash can't keep his hands off of her]
Tess: Listen, if this roomie thing is going to work out, you are going to have to do something about your hands.
Nash: Well, the hands have a mind all of their own.  But the lips --


Nash: Why don't you let me put something on the table.
Tess: Ooh, I'm open to anything you put on the table.
Nash: You're my kind of girl!


[Tess pulls away from Nash again]
Nash: Look, is there something going on here that I don't know about?
Tess: Yeah. I'm not exactly wearing a lot of clothes over here, okay?
Nash: I know, I've noticed.


Nash: So I'm just imagining all this, huh?
Tess: Yeah, you got it.
Nash: Uh-huh.  This whole connection that I'm feeling between the two of us is just a big puff of smoke.


Nash: (to Tess)  You are so full of it it's scary.  That's the word, Tess. You -- scary.


Nash: You are so scared that you're shaking in your little bootees because of what's going on between us.
Tess: Oh, get over yourself.
Nash: No, no, no, this is not ego, lady.  This is fact.  Just like it's fact that I was feeling the connection when you first came on to me, hit on me in Central Park.
Tess: I came on to you?
Nash: You came on to me, that's right.  That's a fact.  Just like the connection, the feeling I get when you look at me.  That's a connection.  That's a fact.  And the feeling that you get when I'm looking at you.
[Tess turns away from him]
Nash: Oh, yeah, that's not going to help.  You can still feel my eyes on you.  That's a fact.  It's a connection.


Nash: (to Tess) You know, this would all be a lot easier for you if it was just about sex, wouldn't it, because then you'd hold the cards, just the way of the world.  Women always hold the sex card.  That's one you can't use here.  It's about something more important.  It's about -- it's about trusting someone.  It's about trusting them enough to give up just a little bit of your power.  And that, roomie, terrifies you.


Tess: How do you know that by tomorrow I won't be just some pleasant footnote in the story of your life?
Nash: Oh, call it a gut feeling.


[Nash makes love to Tess]
Tess: Why do I feel like this is the first time?
Nash: Because I think it is for both of us.


Tess: Well, what?  What are you looking at?
Nash: I'm looking at you.


Nash: So tell me about that bad dream of yours.
Tess: Pandas.
Nash: Pandas?
Tess: Yeah, they're tricky.  They totally freaked me out.
Nash: Must have been some big pandas.
Tess: It was a gang of them, actually, and they had knives and they were using sarcasm.
Nash: Oh.
Tess: It was awful.
Nash: I am in trouble, aren't I?
Tess: That makes two of us, buddy.


Tess: I faxed them my resume, greased them over the phone.  They love me, I know it.
Nash: Well, it's New York City.  You never can tell.


Tess: It's just this entry-level position. But give me a week, and I'll be running the joint.
Nash: You are so overqualified for this.
Tess: What, you don't think that I can climb the corporate ladder?
Nash: Oh, I think you got a jet pack and you're going to burn that ladder on your way up.
Tess: Sounds like you really believe in me or something.
Nash: I am counting on you to keep me in the style to which I have become accustomed.


Tess: I thought that you liked it that I was mysterious.
Nash: Mysterious, yeah -- creepy, not so.


Nash: (to Tess)  I'm asking too many questions again, huh?  So I'll stop.  I won't be possessive, I won't ask about your past.  I'll just take what you give me and hope that you're everything I need you to be, and I'll pray that I don't wake up some day and realize that you've been nothing but a dream, not real at all.


Nash: You've never been in a relationship before, have you?
Tess: Well, I just don't understand why people get so hung up on words like "love" and "relationship."  I don't --
Nash: I'll take that as a no.


Nash: I don't think I'll ever figure you out.
Tess: Are you complaining?
Nash: Uh-uh-uh. I'm giving in.  You don't know me.  It's hard for me to do.


Tess: I just feel like when everything is too good to be true, somebody, something, some time is just going to come in and take it all away.
Nash: Okay, first of all, nothing is too good for you or us.  We deserve good things.  And second of all, nothing or no one is going to get in our way.


Nash: (to Tess)  Even though it goes against everything we talked about, I think I'm starting to fall in love with you.


Tess: I think I'm falling in love with you, too.  And when you come home later, there's some things that I have to tell you about me.
Nash: You don't have to tell me anything, okay?  That was then, this is now, and tomorrow is something I want to spend with you.


Nash: Well, hey, why don't you wait for me in our apartment, and -- my meeting shouldn't last longer than an hour.
Tess: Or I could just wait for you right here on this bench.  That way I'll be closer to you.
Nash: Ooh, now that I like.


Nash: (calling Tess on his cell phone)  Hey, where are you?  All right, look, it doesn't matter.  I just hope you get back soon, because I am about to get on the world's fastest taxi to get back to you. You know what?  I have a bottle of 1996 Chateau Lafite-Rothschild that I have been saving for five years, and I say we uncork it, not that I think we need it, because I'm starting to think that you could turn a malt liquor into liquid gold.  See you soon.


[Nash is happy after his successful business lunch]
Nash: (to Fred)  I'm telling you, between this and my lady, things are feeling good.


[Fred and Nash have a conversation about Nash's relationship with Tess]
Fred: I have never seen you this whipped.
Nash: "Whipped"?  No, no, no.  Nobody is holding a gun to my head, all right?  And those are not lash marks on my back, buddy boy.
Fred: Well, she must be something.
Nash: She is something and a biscuit.
Fred: So, this one could actually last for more than a month or two, huh?
Nash: Give me a little credit.
Fred: That is giving you credit.
Nash: All right, so I haven't actually met "the one" yet.  I mean --
Fred: All right, so -- so you're saying this girl is?
Nash: If she'll have me, yeah.


Nash: (to Fred)  I'm not going anywhere and neither is my Tess.


[Nash is heartbroken when Tess never shows up at their meeting place]
Nash: Never con a con artist, huh?  Should have seen that one coming a mile away.


[Nash arrives at his apartment -- bitter about Tess up and leaving him]
Nash: Honey, I'm home.  (finding Tess' cell phone nearby)  Tess, you were in such a hurry to leave, you forgot your cell phone.  (pretending to talk on the phone)  Hi, yes, do you know where Tess is?  Who are you?  Where are you?


[Nash deals with the his broken heart by getting drunk and talking to himself]
Nash: You wouldn't believe the day that I had.  Well, you were there for some of it.  The great sex.  Great sex?  How about the great talk here?  We talked about the future, about the winery.  The winery.  It's all good stuff.  It's good stuff.  Man.  Man.  I aced my meeting.  Aced it.  I know that guy can't wait to give you all of his money.  I know, it was great!  All of it!  Hell, it's like -- it's like all of our dreams that we talked about, they were actually going to come true.  All of them.  Huh.  But you missed the best part.  The best part was me standing on a street corner in the rain like a soggy, lovesick idiot.  What has that woman done to me?


Nash: (placing a call to emergency services)  Yes, my girlfriend didn't come home tonight.  I'm worried that she might be hurt.  She's white, blond hair, blue eyes, about 5'7".  Tess.  Just no last name, just Tess, like Madonna or Cher.


Nash: Where did you run off to, Tess, huh?  You in some kind of trouble?  I'm supposed to find you?  Or is this whole disappearing act just part of our deal?


Nash: I'm coming to get you, Tess.  Just hold on.  If you're in Llanview, I'm going to find you.


[Nash asks a bartender at a bar in Llanview if he's seen Tess]
Nash: A woman -- a gorgeous blond, 5'6", blue eyes, full lips, drinks vodka.
Bartender: I don't know.
Nash: Oh, you'd know.  Tess is not the kind of woman you easily forget.


[Nash sees Jessica and assumes she's Tess -- Jess, trying to get away, says she needs to go talk to her mother]
Nash: Your mother?  Hey.  You never really seemed like the type who runs off to her mother.


[Jessica denies that she's Tess, much to Nash's confusion]
Nash: You're not Tess?  That -- that is amazing.  That's amazing.  I mean, you look like Tess, you sound like Tess.  I'll bet you feel like Tess.


[Nash, still believing that Jessica is Tess, tries to explain himself; Tess, inside Jessica's mind, can hear him]
Nash: Well, I guess I'm just a big fool.  I mean, I convinced myself that you didn't run out on me.  All right?  I was worried about you.  That's why I came down here, to make sure that you're okay.  Hey, I was falling in love with you, Tess!  I am in love with you, Tess.


[Tess takes control back from Jessica after Nash declares his love -- now she must fix the damage that was done when Jessica took control days before and left Nash in NYC]
Tess: Before I met you, Nash, I didn't know what I wanted.  Now I do.  I love you.
Nash: Wow.  Wait a minute.  What -- what did you say?
Tess: I said that I love you.  I know it sounds stupid, fake, like -- I don't know, like some insecure loser made it up or something.
Nash: So why'd you say it?
Tess: Because I feel sick whenever I'm around you.
Nash: Oh, wow, that's great.
Tess: Not -- like butterfly, fluttery stuff.  It's hard to breathe.
Nash: Maybe you need a doctor.
Tess: I just stood here and said that I'm in love with you.  Look, I'm not happy about it, and I wish it would go away, but there it is.  And I'm really mad at you for making this happen, but I guess it's too late now.  You made me fall in love with you.  What do you have to say for yourself?
[Nash doesn't respond right away]
Tess: I just said that I love you.  Are you going to say anything back or you going to stand there looking like an idiot?
Nash: You blew me off.  You walked out of my apartment and then disappeared off the face of the earth!
Tess: But I am right here now!
Nash: For how long?


Tess: I thought you liked to live life to the fullest or was that just some crap that you fed me to get me into bed?
Nash: I'm not like that and you know it.


Nash: Tess, you're talking about love, all right, and that's a whole other game.  I'm not sure that we're ready for that.


Nash: Oh, come on, don't go away all pouty and angry.
Tess: Well, I'm cute when I pout.
Nash: You're always very, very cute.
Tess: Well, is that a problem for you or a problem for me?
Nash: I'm just afraid that I'll say something I'll regret later.
Tess: Like what?  Oh, come on, spit it out!  Pretend that we're drunk or in Vino Veritas or, what, are you chicken?
Nash: No!  Damn it, I do love you.  You happy?


Tess: You just said that you love me.
Nash: So did you.  Want to take it back, huh?  Hmm?
Tess: No.
Nash: No?


Nash: I just can't believe that I followed a lady all the way to Pennsylvania.
Tess: Because you would've followed me anywhere.
Nash: Really?  And who was it that kept turning up on my doorstep, huh?
Tess: Who was it that wasn't kicking me out?
Nash: Yeah, well...


Tess: Do you already regret saying that you love me?
Nash: No, I'm not sorry I said it.  It's true.  I can't change it.  I'm stuck with you.


Tess: I'm your lucky charm.
Nash: (with an Irish accent)  Oh, you're me lucky charm, are you?  (going back to his normal voice)  You stole my car.
Tess: Wasn't yours.
Nash: Hmm.  Then I almost broke my fist on your uncle's face saving your behind.
Tess: And I was well worth it.
Nash: Yeah.  Made me spend a bucket of cash in Llanview looking for you to save you from God knows what.  And now we're going to drive clear across the country on a less than perfect plan.
Tess: Sorry, I thought you liked the rush.
Nash: Oh, I love the rush.


Tess: Not bad for somebody who thinks that I'm a one-way ticket to hell.
Nash: Oh, even if that was true, you would still be the best thing that ever happened to me, Tess, the best.


Nash: (to Tess)  One more thing.  I'm lucky for you, too.


[Nash proposes a toast]
Nash: A toast.  To all that you are.


Nash: You know, when I think about how close we got to never seeing each other again -- I mean, even the first day, when we first met, and you stole my car and left my buttocks behind --
Tess: Oh, I knew you'd follow me.
Nash: Oh, yeah?
Tess: Yeah, well, after all, you needed to get your car back, didn't you?
Nash: Yeah.  You know, maybe there was another reason, too.
Tess: Do you mean that something --
Nash: Something --
Tess: Inside you maybe told you that I was the one?
Nash: Well, I definitely knew you were someone.  Yeah.


Nash: You underestimate yourself.
Tess: Not when I'm with you.  I don't ever do that.
Nash: I won't let you.

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